Monday, December 5, 2011

past 10




past 10
by: k. jefferson  


leaky pen
while i lie fallow
vs you wallowing
in shallower ends
trying to comprehend
how i stay afloat in bottomless.

question is
what quest you in?
fancy car'd pedestrian or
molasses assed meandering
on paths where winds
turn zephyr

weather channeling
my inner jackson - never
land
greater cuz'a lesser thans
equate it to math
the 9 path laughs

a compact freelance
to calm the dance

of past 10's past tense...

Sunday, December 4, 2011

I...

Woke up. Put my headphones on. Closed my eyes. Meditated. This is what came out.





I...

In the beginning there was the sound resting neatly amid the heavy, but not bound by it. It found peace in weightlessness, namelessness, formlessness...an unidentifiable vibration that only sought to be "one".

Yet, there it stood, sticking out like sore thumbs or stray brows. A rainbow hiding itself for protection. Defense mechanisms proven faulty...when it opened its mouth...and sang.

Its conflict with Self formed sparks during combat that quickly knew themselves as stars. Their hearts pulsating, giving way to life-forming frequencies.

There is power in the slightest utterances. Once spoken, motion is set into play. Regrets are as much a waste of energy as a discarded yesterday that can not be recycled. So it avoided them and settled on a present tense "this is good". . . and rested.

But the pages kept turning. The stones kept rolling. History records keep spinning. A heavy heady steady rotation in time. Sphere on axis, needle on wax, it's...sublime...and several millenia later, I'm...the result.

The thought that was a rainbow cloaking itself in invisibility who broke its silence unintentionally was a shadow no more when it became sound, elements, star/solar systems uniting as galaxies, life-sustaining planets, earth, soul, human, seed of father that made it to mother's egg, child thereof, female, Aries, 1st born on the 5th day preceeding Resurrection (Easter).

Kimberly they named her...and so Kimberly it became.

And it was good.

But the pages kept turning. The stones kept rolling. History records keep spinning. A heavy heady steady rotation in time. Sphere on axis, needle on wax, it's...sublime...and several years later, I...multiplied the result.





- K. Jefferson

Letters to Self

Instead of blogging all of my Letters to Self posts, I've been keeping up with them by saying things to myself each day. Too much to type out in the midst of daily life.

My inner dialogue has grown though.

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Dream Log Entry 11.09.11 - The Beginning

just had the weirdest dream that there was an urgent news flash re: a HUGE ufo that was spotted.

satellites had captured footage of it entering our atmosphere & in the blink of an eye, it zipped down into the ocean & thru the ocean floor into the earth's crust, causing earthquake/tsunami. people were panicking saying it's the end.

the voice that always speaks to me in my dreams said, "no, this has always happened. you're just ready to see it now...it's only the beginning."

Sunday, October 16, 2011

To: Self...With Love - #2

Dear Self:

Wasn't yesterday a breath of fresh air? The world seemed upright and not nearly as garbled and joy-eating as it often appears.

The art at the Project Row Houses reawakened you, I see. And to think, you almost changed your mind and decided not to go...but life found a way to draw you there.

The community embraced you. Their energy was like CPR for the soul. You had drowned. . . but to be devoured by struggle is not your destiny. Thus, those who share some of your experiences brought you back.

Art is life, my dear. Living is an artform. Blur the line.

Stay afloat.

With Love,
Me

Saturday, October 15, 2011

To: Self...With Love - #1

Dear Self:

Where do I begin? Where do I end? Headphones glued to your ears again, I see. Yet another night of mentalism. Are you tuning the world out or tuning in?

And my, what self scrutinizing skills you have. The better to analyze and correct your course with, I suppose. Don't be so hard on yourself. There is no move that you could possibly make that should be followed with regret.

Live...and by all means...let someone in. It's long overdue. Put a welcome mat at the door. Not a pit bull.

You're smiling now. A'tta girl.

By the way, I love you. Flaws and all...even when you're moody, insecure or sullen. Never forget it.

With Love,
Me

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Dream Log Entry 02.24.11 - Read Between the Lions (Lines)



I woke up abruptly, head throbbing and heart pumping. I couldn't find my laptop fast enough, and in a clumsy fury, I stubbed my toe (yet again) on that ugly black tv stand I've been meaning to replace. Found it. 


It is so crucial for me to document my dreams as soon as I wake up. This way, the memories are still fresh. I can still vividly feel & describe the sights, the sounds, the smells, colors, emotions, numbers, conversations or anything significant that stood out or was out of place. 


What follows is a recount of yet another lion dream. If you know me personally, then you know that lions are recurring dream figures for me. So here goes nothing... 

The sun and I were walking on what at first seemed a busy street. Then all at once the street resembled a field with high grass in the distance, and our path changed from asphalt to a trail. There were people walking with us, though I could not make out their faces. They seemed of no real significance.

There was all at once an overwhelming feeling that we were being watched.  Stalked, even. My heart began pumping rapidly, and I whispered "Whatever you do, don't run. If we do, it will chase us and probably catch & kill us. It's hardwired to hunt. So remain calm."

I felt it inching closer. So close that I could hear it breathing. It was toying with us...wanted us to know it was there now, even. Intimidation tactics. It was daring us to run. I clenched the sun's hand in mine to reinforce the fact that we should not. No sooner than I did that, the people around us broke their silence and scattered, running frantically in all directions. As a result, the lion seemed to laugh when he roared and gave chase. The screams became muffled as he caught them one by one. Easily.

We continued on. Composed, hand-in-hand (my left holding his right), and determined to live.

He returned to us and resumed his previous activity of walking behind us. This time, a little closer. And this time, the scene changed again. There was no field anymore. No trail either. Now, we were in a public place it seemed. As we walked, people stared in a frightened stupor as the lion tagged along behind us. They dropped whatever they were holding, mouths agape. Some of them screamed and ran. Others were frozen where they stood.

We remained calm. No sudden movements. Heads high. Nervousness contained. The lion edged closer. I could feel his breath now, as he reached his snout out and nudged my right hand with his nose. It took everything in me not to jump in fear. . . but his actions reminded me of a dog's when it wants you to pet it.

I took a chance and slid my hand from its nose to its head. He had a huge, thick mane of coarse hair. I scratched his head lightly as I ran my fingers through it, and slowly ceased walking. The sun followed suit. He began gently rubbing its back as I continued to rub its head. The lion sat down and began to almost purr.

He opened his mouth to yawn, exposing its incredibly long & sharp teeth. Then it spoke to me. "I could've eaten you, ya know. In fact, I wanted to. But you're different. I like you. . . Why didn't you run from me? Everyone does." He said curiously.

"I don't know. Ordinarily, I would have. But it seemed stupid to do so this time. I thought it would probably make you angrier and you'd chase us and kill us." I replied. I didn't feel frightened or nervous anymore as I engaged him.

"I see. . . I didn't want any of them. The others, I mean. That guy. That woman. Those other meaningless bobble heads. They're so typical. . . Buuut, it was all in good fun, I suppose." he said arrogantly.

"Killing them, you mean? That was good fun?" I was repulsed.

"No. That's never fun. But the chase...I live for it. It's exhilarating. That is, until I catch them.. .  And I always do. . . Now, you on the other hand. . . you ran before. . . you walked this time. . .and now you're standing here. . .  yet you're still hard to catch. I think I'll keep you."

"No, quite the contrary. I'll keep you." I replied. He smiled, a large flattered grin and suddenly his mane disappeared and he transformed into a younger male lion.

"See? Nothing to be afraid of. Feel my teeth." he opened his mouth, and I stuck my hand in to touch them. "If I wanted to kill you, I could have. In fact, I would have already done so by now. . . very easily too. But I won't hurt you. I'm really very harmless."

At that moment, a mean old woman came over to us and said, "Oh I see you've found him. We were taking him to the zoo and he escaped. We caught him in the wild and we were gonna try to domesticate him, but we might have to put him down. He keeps going crazy. I'll call the team so we can pick him up and euthanize him."  So matter-of-fact was her tone.

"I can't let you take him. He's mine. I'll take care of him." I protested.

"I won't go back with them. I'm meant to be free. Maybe I'll just kill her..." said the lion.

"No. That's how they want you to behave. Be civil and sensible." I told him.

We snuck away as the woman turned her head to call for help. Disappearing off to who knows where. The dream voice said to me as I was waking up, "Read between the lions..."

I thought, Huh? Like the show on PBS? Then it hit me...and I typed this.